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<title>The Master Breadstick by Soy Sauce (Stardance)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25470919">The Master Breadstick</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardance/pseuds/Soy%20Sauce'>Soy Sauce (Stardance)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Legend of Zelda &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, crackfic, very dumb do not take seriously</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:34:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25470919</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardance/pseuds/Soy%20Sauce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is the same except the Master Sword is a breadstick</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Master Breadstick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His greatest test was one of restraint.</p><p>When Link broke from the woods, sitting in wait for him upon an ancient pedestal was none other than the legendary Blade of Evil’s Bane itself. Or, at least, that was what he had been expecting. In truth, what lay before him wasn’t a blade. Far from it.</p><p>It was a breadstick.</p><p>And it looked so, <em>so</em> delicious.</p><p>The Goddesses were testing him. That much was clear. All of his trials thus far—every enemy he’d ever slain, every dungeon he’d ever cleared—it was all to solder him into the perfect warrior. One who was brave, selfless, and strong of heart. One who wouldn’t falter in the face of deliciousness.</p><p>This was Link’s greatest challenge yet, and he was sure he was up to the task… That was, until he actually stepped up to the pedestal and his stomach growled.</p><p>Now that he thought about it, the last time he’d had a proper meal was well back before he’d ever started his journey. What had he been living off of since then? Red potions, milk, the occasional serving of cold soup. The breadstick was taunting him, almost like it knew. There it sat underneath a single beam of sun, glimmering with its glossy coat of butter. The bread itself was firm but not hard; no doubt its innards were soft and fluffy.</p><p>And delicious, of course.</p><p>Link shook his head. No, no—he was the Hero of Hyrule. He could not give in to this breadstick.</p><p>So he positioned himself before the pedestal, feet planted firm, and brought his hands to the bread.</p><p>It was warm. The sort of nice, fresh-out-of-the-oven warm.</p><p>His stomach growled again.</p><p>Swallowing his hunger, Link gave it his all and pulled. And there he had it.</p><p>Link had finally laid claim to the Master Breadstick.</p><p>Ganon, unfortunately, was not so impressed by this feat. When Link faced him in battle some time later, all he could do was stare at it with squinted eyes.</p><p>“Is that a breadstick?”</p><p>“Not just any breadstick. It’s the Master Breadstick.”</p><p>Ganon squinted his eyes harder, as if that were possible.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that’s just a breadstick.”</p><p>“I mean, yeah, it’s a breadstick,” said Link. “But it’s a breadstick with the word ‘Master’ in front of it. So it’s the Master Breadstick.”</p><p>Zelda, who stood beside him, had her face in her hands.</p><p>“No, Link, no… That’s just a regular breadstick. Literally. There’s nothing special or magical about it.”</p><p>“Haha! Without the Master Sword, you’ll never defeat me!” cackled Ganon.</p><p>“That’s what you think! Eat this!”</p><p>Link shoved the entire breadstick into Ganon’s mouth. He proceeded to choke and die.</p><p>“Oh my God,” said Zelda.</p><p>And so Hyrule was saved. No longer in need of the Master Breadstick, Link waltzed over to Ganon’s dead body, pulled the breadstick out from his throat, and took a huge and completely shameless bite out of it like the savage he was.</p><p>“Finally,” he said, savoring the taste of rotten monster blood and mold as he rolled the month-old bread around in his mouth. “After slaying like a thousand monsters with this thing, it’s about time I get to eat it.”</p><p>Zelda quickly filed a restraining order and banished him from Hyrule.</p>
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